Do sailors need advice on how to behave properly in public? So it would seem from perusing the 1956-57 edition of that manly bible of seamanship, Chapman's Piloting, Seamanship and Small Boat Handling. There's a chapter on yachting customs and etiquette that's heavy on behavior of the Miss Manners variety. For those of us who have become seagoing slobs, here is some guidance from the 44 year old Chapman's:
     "When men and women meet in public, the gentleman should never be the first to speak, always awaiting recognition from the lady."
     (That's fine if you're Leonardo DiCaprio, but what about us ordinary seamen who are trying to meet some girls?)
     "Association between ladies and gentlemen calls for an attitude of mutual respect... Gentlemen always rise in the presence of a woman who is standing."
     (Presumably, this is not necessary when a lady stands up to steer the boat.) 
     "Out-of-doors, a gentleman who stops to 
converse with a lady invariably removes his hat, keeping it off while they are together."
     (This applies as well to embroidered caps that you purchase from Harbor Specialties. (currently priced at $18) To keep both hands free, you can also buy a Kap-Strap for $4 and let your cap hang down from your collar in back.)
     "..in the daytime, the arm is offered to a lady only to assist her in traffic or where walking may be difficult. At night, when it is difficult for a lady to watch her footing, the gentleman always offers his arm.....Familiarity toward women is frowned upon in good society, though a gentleman may always offer assistance to a woman when it appears to be needed."
     (Frowning on familiarity is alive and well today too. For further information, see sexual harassment laws.)
      "Correct, dignified speech, with a capacity for intelligent conversation, are also indicated as distinguishing marks of a gentleman. Good speech implies both correct pronunciation and distinct enunciation. Slang and profanity have no place in the vocabulary of an officer or a gentleman."
     (Though many officers and gentlemen have an inclination and ability to "cuss like a sailor."). 
     "Gentlemen assist the ladies in finding places at the table and seating them. Where there are couples, each gentleman assists his own partner (at his right)."
     (Of course, this doesn't apply when partying around the cockpit table while rafted up in an anchorage. Or does it?)
     "Napkins are laid upon the lap, not tucked in the belt, collar or vest, and used only as necessary for the purpose for which they are intended, that is, the removal of particles of food or drink from fingers and lips."

(This is disappointing after thinking it practical to tuck my napkin inside my collar when slurping up spaghetti strings. That way, it didn't get all over my shirt. But I'll have to change my ways now and go back to using Shout to get the spaghetti sauce off my shirts.)
     "When rising at the end of a meal, the napkin is laid unfolded, beside one's place.
     (Leaving it unfolded gives the signal that it's been used, even though there's no longer spaghetti sauce on it. See above.)
     "When there is any question as to the proper selection of implements from a great array with which the table is set, one is advised to do as the hostess does. Commonly, they are laid in the order in which they will be used, from the outside in."
     (I never could figure out which was which, but now all I have to do is stare at the hostess. In Indonesia, everybody eats with their fingers. I wonder what's appropriate there.)
     "The knife should never be used in the left hand, nor employed as the fork should be, to convey food to the mouth."
     (To see someone eat peas with a knife has always been fascinating. It seemed almost athletic, but Chapman's says it's a gauche practice.)
     "After use, the knife, and fork also, is placed across the upper half of the plate with the handle to the right, not upon the table or resting upon both table and plate."
     (And definitely not on the floor, I might add.)
     "A spoon should be dipped in a direction away from the diner, and used so that the edge of its (the spoon's) bowl is at the lips, not in the mouth."
     (That's the end of bending the soup bowl over and shovelling the soup into the old kisser, so to speak.) 
      "The finger bowl is used for cleaning lips and finger-tips; only the finger-tips should be placed in the bowl, one hand at a time."
     (And don't confuse the finger bowl with a double martini even though a slice of lemon is stuck on the edge.)
     The chapter goes on and on like this. I became curious to see if the latest edition of Chapman's (which we sell in our store) contained any kind of updated advice on being a proper seaman. Not a word. I wondered why, since so many of us could use the advice to upgrade our images. All I could think of was that Chapman's has finally given up on sailors. Either that, or times have changed a lot over the past 44 years. What do you think? Do sailors need to keep being reminded?